Part
1: Reflection
Today in the
Writing Center a man came into the center and asked us to revise his paper. His
paper was about asking a question and hypothesizing his answer to the questions.
During the 50 minutes I learned that surprised that some teachers don’t like
when you answer your own question. What I mean by this is that when we were
reading over the paper, my peer and I, we noticed the writer kept asking many
questions but instead of hypothesizing he was answering the question. She said
that some teachers don’t like that but even in my papers I do that! That is
something I will not forget because that is what I do. But also I learned from
the writer’s paper that I read because he wrote kind of like me, using the same
words to start sentences. For example he kept starting his sentences with “I pose
the question,” literally with every question he asked and the peer tutor
offered up another sentence or even just taking it out. This week really helped
me realize that I can’t always repeat myself otherwise I will sound repetitive
and the reader will not like that.
Part
2: Reading Response
“I have seen the
criminal justice policy work first hand because of my older brother, and I
believe it to work in the sense that criminals are put in jail or prison and
serve the time from the crime they have
committed.” The part I have highlighted from my writing is passive writing.
I think this works because it already says in the sentence what the criminal
has done and doesn’t need to be followed by a verb. This chapter will help me
in the future because it will help me keep writing straight forward again
because sometimes you don’t need those extra word as seen in active writing
therefore as in passive writing you don’t need the support it is straight to
the point and you still understand.
Part
3:
Active:
The peer tutors helped the writers stay on topic.
Passive:
The writers were helped.
Active:
This session helped me realize how I could fix my writing in the future.
Passive:
My writing is fixed.
These revisions have helped me see
different ways of writing sentences and ways to shorten sentences or different
ways to write them.
Taylor,
ReplyDeleteYou're doing a great job with your blogs so far: lots of detail and reflection on your writing.
A quick clarification on active and passive voice:
"the crime they have committed" is still active because the agent ("they" or the criminals) is still in charge of the verb. (I think you got confused because of the "have," which can also help to show that something happened in the past (past tense vs. passive voice). If you truly wanted to make this verb passive, you would need to move the agent from the subject slot and write something like this:
The crime was committed by them. (Passive)
They committed the crime. (Active)
Glad that you're enjoying your WC Internship so far! I'll let your peers comment on that part, if they wish.
Beth
in the case of active and passive writting it definitaly helps to remove the extras that are not necacary to the the writting, in refrence to sentnce stucture. it makes it easier to read when not cluttered. it also drives home the point when choosing the better form, passive or active, that fits your paper.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about the extra words, because i felt like this chapter will also help me out in the future, I like you revisions as well.
ReplyDeleteI can see why answering your own questions in your paper might not be the best thing to do. By doing that you are limiting what the reader should think about the questions you are asking. By not answering your own questions it leaves the reader to decide what he/she thinks, and may even leave them thinking about it in more depth.
ReplyDelete