Blog #12

Part 1: Reflection on Writing Center (Not Final)

This week was good in the writing center. A woman came in with a paragraph about influences of school groups and how they affect teens. It was interesting because the paragraph was for an English class and she could barely speak English. When the tutor tried to explain things to her about her paragraph she could barely understand him so it was difficult for her to completely comprehend what he was talking about. He had to write down what he was talking about so that she could understand it. It helped me learn how to teach people that don’t speak English how to write. It is hard for them to understand our language let alone write it down on paper. Her grammar was very off, which also made it difficult because half of her paragraph was full of errors. I learned how to look for differences in papers that ESL students write compared to students whose first language is English. I learned that it is difficult for ESL students to get their points across correctly in their writing so we helped her put her thoughts together and then separate them which then helped her understand her own thoughts to write down. This week at the writing center helped me understand how to help students whose English language isn’t their first language.

Part 2: Final Portfolio Preparation

Something that I worked on this semester that I think I should include in my writing portfolio is audience awareness because for the SCA animal project I had to change my audience to college students and that was difficult for me to do even though I am a college student. Another writing piece I worked on was sentence level revision, I believe this should be in my portfolio because I believe I have improved my sentence structure since the beginning of this semester. I have learned a lot about different sentence structures and what to add or take out of sentences. Some pieces I think that I could add into the portfolio is the tri-fold because that was the main thing I had to do to aim to a certain audience which was college students. Another piece is my first blog compared to my final blog because my writing has formed into something better than my first blog. Another could be a piece from my junior writing portfolio, and I believe this would be a good piece because most of my pieces in my junior writing portfolio are from last year or even later than that. It would show how much my writing has formed also.

Blog #11

Community Partner Draft Annotations

During the presentation I am going to focus on college students and informing them about Second Chance Animal and how they can help. I want and hope that students will volunteer and try to help them also. The reason Morgan and I chose to do a bullet points was because most college students will grab flyers and throw them away probably because there are too many words on it, we chose bullet points to get straight to the point so that college students will stay interested. It is hard on a college campus because some students love looking through all of the tables and what they have, but some just walk right by so we chose a lot of pictures also to help attract college students. I hope by students reading and looking through the tri-fold they will become interested and want to learn more about Second Chance Animal and even try to volunteer time with SCA. But if students aren’t interested in helping, we put facts so that they become more informed about spay and neutering animals. We put information about SCA when you open up the tri-fold to help students become more informed; we kept their mission, about them, and company overview the same that they know exactly what SCA is trying to do. This tri-fold is meant to get SCA name out there so the college campus is aware of what they are trying to do and inform them more on spay and neutering animals.

Some questions I have for Georgia are:

Does the formatting look okay for her standard?

Is the saying on the front of the pamphlet okay because I changed it around a little bit to make a sentence?

Where does she think we should put the website for the facts I got?

Anything else she think we should add?

Blog #10

Part 1: Reflection

This week in the writing center I learned how to write a lab report the correct way. It was interesting to me because I have never written a long report that included an abstract, introduction, methods, steps, materials, results and conclusion. I have never written an abstract before and that was what was the most helpful for me and interesting. I learned that it is a summary of everything included in the paper combined into one paragraph at the beginning of the paper. Another thing I learned was that usually in a lab report you want to avoid using "we" in the paper because since you are usually doing the paper in a group you are bound to use "we" a lot and I learned that that isn't the proper way to write a lab report and usually the reader doesn't like that included.

Part 2: Community Partner Draft Annotations

Facts about spay and neutering

• 10% of animals picked up by shelters have been spayed or neutered
• 2% of stray cats are spayed or neutered 
• On average, fertile cats produce one to three litters a year; and average between four to six kittens per litter
• On average, fertile dogs produce one litter a year; and average between four to six puppies per litter
• Dog owners report 76% have spayed and neutered their dogs
• Cat owners report 87% have spayed or neutered their cats

http://www.aspca.org/about-us/-april/the-facts-about-spay-neuter.aspx

I think these facts work out great for the tri-fold but I think I could add more facts but don't know exactly

what else to add? These work out great because it is informing college students about spay and 

neutering their animals and some quick facts. 

Blog #9

Part 1: Reflection

Today in the writing center, the tutor and I worked with a slower person which taught me a lot because the way the tutors helped them really made me realize another way to look at my writing. The tutor looked carefully at their writing and instead of just reading over and focusing on one thing; they focused on helping them through the assignment and look closely at it. The student was much focused on getting the paper to be a good grade and kept saying that but the tutor was more about trying to help the student with the paper and put it in his own words. One thing I learned in the writing center was adding examples to descriptions. It helped me realize I can add a lot more to my papers to help it make more sense and add support.

Part 2: Community Partner Progress

This is what we have so far:

·         Working on getting a table for CUB to help inform college students about spay and nurturing and second chance animal

·         Working on tri-fold to give out also at table informing same thing

·         Tri-fold include:               

o   Second chance animal information

§  Contact information (e-mail, twitter, facebook, phone, etc.)

§  Mission statement

§  Description of what they do

§  Company overview

o   Spay and nurturing information

o   Pictures

o   Logo

·         Kaycee is going to bring her dog to table to bring attention to us

·         Main focus: inform college students

·         Still need to work on tri-fold though

* Maybe make a donation jar for change?

 

Blog #8

Part 1: Reflection

This week during my internship we went over a cover letter with a student. The peer tutor taught the student how to write a cover letter and also the outline what each part should look including, name, company name, greetings, then what each paragraph consists of, and then ending the letter. It reminded me of what a cover letter is supposed to look like and after i went back and looked at my cover letter to make sure I did it correctly. The peer tutor asked if that was what mine looked like and I told him it did because that was what you taught us in class. It is so interesting how much our class is working with the internship, it is helping me pull things together and understand concepts better.

Part 2: Community Partner Project

In class, my group and I talked about who the audience would be and that would be college students because we are on a college campus full of college students. We also talked about a fundraiser or having a table set up in the CUB. The table would consist of a tri-fold just with information about Second Chance Animal, information about what they do, and how the college student could help maybe? Kaycee had a great layout of the tri-fold and what it would consist of. Also with the table set-up Kaycee offered to bring her dog which she adopted to help attract college students to the table. And then also adding a poster that we could put on the table with information about Second Chance Animal, and then about spay and nuturing and how to help animals.

Blog #7

Part 1: Revision

Before:

Media portrays Teen pregnancy daily on a show on MTV and it is starting to become a common thing around our culture today. I believe people should know more about this topic because the issue of teen pregnancy plays a huge role in teen’s lives today and is a life changing event in a teens life. There are many things teens don’t think about when becoming pregnant, and teens need to be aware, before getting pregnant, of what the consequences are of bringing a child into this world.

After:

Media portrays teen pregnancy daily on a show on MTV called "Teen Mom" and it is starting to become a common thing around our culture today. I believe people should know more about this topic because the issue of teen pregnancy plays a huge role in teen’s lives today and is a life changing event in a teens life. There are specific consequences teens don’t think about when becoming pregnant, and teens need to be aware, before getting pregnant, of what the consequences are of bringing a child into this world.

The changes I made were very small but I changed some words around to help my paragraph become more specific to my topic and straight to the point.

Part 2:

My group talked about PSAs for Georgia to consider. The questions we talked about asking her were:

• What points do you want to get across to your audience?
• Volunteering? Spending time with the animals?
• Main focus?
• Who do you want your audience to be?
• Maybe talk about:
• shelter benefits
• volunteering
• spay and neutured
• another event coming up?

Part 3: Revision of Previous Blog

Active: This chapter will help me in the future because it will help me keep writing straight forward again because sometimes you don’t need those extra word as seen in active writing therefore as in passive writing you don’t need the support it is straight to the point and you still understand.

Passive: This chapter helped me because it will help me realize extra words I don't need and it is straight to the point and not needing support.

I chose this because I am still dragging sentences on and mixing up active and passive.

Blog #6

Part 1: In the writing center I learned more about grammar, and also the tutor I was working with talked about connecting sentences which was what we talked about on Wednesday in class. The student we were working with was an ESL student and her thoughts were kind of all over the place and the tutor helped her put her sentences together and link her thoughts together to help the paper make more sense. And then I also helped a little by helping her link sentences. I thought it was great that our class and the internship are working together because it is really helping me understand the class and with my writing.

Part 2:

Before:

The contemporary issue I chose to talk about is teen pregnancy. The reason I chose this topic is because media portrays this on a daily show on MTV and it is starting to become a common thing around our culture today. I believe people should know more about this topic because this issue plays a huge role in teen’s lives today and it is a life changing event in a teens life it is does happen. There are many things teens and people don’t think about when becoming pregnant, and teens need to be aware, before getting pregnant, of what the consequences are of bringing a child into this world is about.

After corrections: 

Media portrays Teen pregnancy daily on a show on MTV and it is starting to become a common thing around our culture today. I believe people should know more about this topic because the issue of teen pregnancy plays a huge role in teen’s lives today and  is a life changing event in a teens life. There are many things teens don’t think about when becoming pregnant, and teens need to be aware, before getting pregnant, of what the consequences are of bringing a child into this world.

Part 3: I focused on reconstructing my sentences to help them tie together and link up. I also fixed my sentence structure by deleting little words that were not needed. By fixing this paragraph, it has helped me really understand chapter 6 and linking sentences together because you don't want to rant which I usually do so by going back to old work and realizing what I was doing has helped me really understand how to change my paper. After all the changes I made on this paper, it makes more sense and now is straight to the point with also linking my paragraph together.

Blog #5

Part 1: Letter to the Editor

Since I was not in class on Monday I haven't picked a topic for my letter to the editor but my thoughts are replying to the woman who wrote about registering kitchen knives. I was thinking of portraying a sense that I don't agree with her, I know she was being satyrical but I am going to take as being serious and reply to it as that. I am going to write it and post it in the comments this weekend!

Part 2: Chapter 5

This chapter was interesting to me because in the part called Throat Clearing they were talking about how we always state our opinion or thoughts and the way we convey it. I am so used to using "I believe" or " I think" and those shouldn't be used or are proper. These statements are hard to find and fix because we are so used to using them that it seems normal to us. Also informal to formal useage was interesting because most people use "sorta" or "really". I use "really" all the time and I have found that in my papers I am constantly using it.

Part 3: Revision

What I noticed about the multilingual writers was that they really want their peer tutor to focus on their grammar and make sure it is correct.
When I noticed about the multilingual writers was that want their peer tutor to focus on their grammar.

Blog #4

Part 1: Reflection

            Today in the Writing Center a man came into the center and asked us to revise his paper. His paper was about asking a question and hypothesizing his answer to the questions. During the 50 minutes I learned that surprised that some teachers don’t like when you answer your own question. What I mean by this is that when we were reading over the paper, my peer and I, we noticed the writer kept asking many questions but instead of hypothesizing he was answering the question. She said that some teachers don’t like that but even in my papers I do that! That is something I will not forget because that is what I do. But also I learned from the writer’s paper that I read because he wrote kind of like me, using the same words to start sentences. For example he kept starting his sentences with “I pose the question,” literally with every question he asked and the peer tutor offered up another sentence or even just taking it out. This week really helped me realize that I can’t always repeat myself otherwise I will sound repetitive and the reader will not like that.

Part 2: Reading Response

            “I have seen the criminal justice policy work first hand because of my older brother, and I believe it to work in the sense that criminals are put in jail or prison and serve the time from the crime they have committed.” The part I have highlighted from my writing is passive writing. I think this works because it already says in the sentence what the criminal has done and doesn’t need to be followed by a verb. This chapter will help me in the future because it will help me keep writing straight forward again because sometimes you don’t need those extra word as seen in active writing therefore as in passive writing you don’t need the support it is straight to the point and you still understand.

Part 3:

            Active: The peer tutors helped the writers stay on topic.

            Passive: The writers were helped.

 

            Active: This session helped me realize how I could fix my writing in the future.

            Passive: My writing is fixed.

These revisions have helped me see different ways of writing sentences and ways to shorten sentences or different ways to write them.

 

Blog #3

Part 1: Reflection on Writing Center Internship

During my internship two people came in to have their papers revised. Each paper was very different and I worked with two different peer tutors. This session helped me realize many things about my writing and how I could fix my writing in the future. One thing that I learned that I did not know about from one of the peer tutors was that using “you” in a paper is unprofessional and not supposed to be in a paper. That was one of the things I remember most because I am the type of writer who uses “you” a lot in my papers. What I noticed about the multilingual writers was that really want their peer tutor to focus on their grammar and make sure it is correct. The peer tutors were great at helping them and also helping the writers stay on topic with their papers. The peer tutors are very knowledgeable about looking for certain things in papers like grammatical errors, staying on topic, and many other things. I am excited for this internship and to learn more about how I can fix my writing styles and helping others.

Part 2: Reading Response

 Transitive and intransitive verbs will help me with my cover letter because it will help me cut my paper down to become short and sweet instead of adding all the “extra” words. The modifiers will help me add some help to the verbs in my cover letter and in papers I write. The complements help the verbs and this will help me in my papers and cover letters because it helps the transitive verbs play a role in my papers. As said on page 15, “eliminating them tends to sharpen our sentences and paragraphs.” These will help me in the long run to get my paper straight to point but also “sharpen” my paper to its highest potential.

Part 3: Revision

            This session helped me realize many things about my writing and how I could fix my writing in the future.

            This session helped me realize how I could fix my writing in the future.

            The reason I decided to change this was because the verb realize needed a compliment to help it succeed but also didn’t need all the extra wording in it.

           

 

            The peer tutors were great at helping them and also helping the writers stay on topic with their papers.

            The peer tutors helped the writers stay on topic.

            The reason I decided to change this sentence was because there was a lot of extra wording in the sentence and it didn’t need it.

Blog #2

Part 1: Cover Letter Draft

My educational background has prepared me for the role of a childcare provider.  In particular, my study of Children Psychology has given me a solid background so that I can perform taking care of children, working in a professional manner, and making sure all tasks are completed in a timely manner. I am eager to contribute my enthusiasm and up-to-date skills to the Bellevue Athletic Club.

Part 2: Reading Response

In chapter 1, a concept that really helped me was in the section Applying Conversational Guidelines, the part about being relevant. This section will help me as a writer because sometimes in my papers I like to rant or get off topic somehow. In this section it talks about just sticking straight to point instead of rambling and this will help me because I need to stay on point and keep the topic going. I need to make sure I am not rambling but keeping on point.

In chapter 2, a concept that really helped me was this whole chapter but specifically Choosing a Verb section because in class when we talked about weak words like is, had, has, have, etc I noticed that I use those words most of the time. This chapter will help me get straight to the point without the “worthless” words I usually add in to make my paper go longer. This chapter will help me find a more “action-oriented” verb to replace all the “wordiness” in my paper.

Part 3: Revision of Part 1

. This chapter will help me get straight to the point without the “worthless” words -- I usually add in -- to make my paper go longer.

Part 2: Assessment 1.0

The type of writing I currently do is just for my college classes, academic. I used to do outside personal writing where I would just write my thoughts out but I have stopped now.

            My writing means a lot to me because I am not the best writer, when I get a good grade on a piece of work I take pride in it. If I don’t do as well as I had hoped I go in and talk to my teacher on how I can improve for the next paper I write. Each paper means something to me, but sometimes I just write it fast and seem careless.

            As far as drafting, I write down most of my thoughts before starting a paper because it is hard for me to organize my thoughts as I am writing. As I am writing I think of more thoughts I could have added earlier in the paper or that I could add later but it is not time to add it yet. Drafting is the most difficult for me because I don’t know exactly how to start papers but once I start it the thoughts start to come along with what I have drafted down on the paper. As for revising my paper, I like to read over my paper a few times after writing it. This helps me realize if I typed something wrong or wrote down the wrong idea. I don’t like showing other people my work, but sometimes I have people read it just to make sure I kept my ideas together.

            Some strengths I have when writing is that I explain myself and can support my thoughts very well. If I come up with an idea I know how to back it up and show detail in my papers. A teacher has told me that I can support my ideas very well with research and explanation.

            I have some critical weaknesses though when writing papers, for example, it is hard for me to organize my ideas properly. Even though I can support my thoughts they kind of run all over the paper sometimes. I have been told to put more organization into my papers. Also I am not good with punctuation; sometimes I add a coma in the wrong place or don’t add a coma when needed.

            What I want to work on this semester is organization, and placement of punctuation. I believe organization can make or break a paper and in the past it has broken some of my papers, and same goes with punctuation.

Part 1: Reading Response

One of the concepts I really want to focus on from Toni-Lee’s book is the beginning paragraph that talks about how peer consultants are not always the best writers. The reason I like this and think it is great concept is because I know many people go into writing centers, or are nervous because they think they are going to be critiqued harshly by the consultant. But the way Toni-Lee describes a consultant in the beginning paragraph would make a person more comfortable being able to approach someone like this because they wouldn’t feel judged or criticized. If the writer and the consultant are at the same level it would feel more like a suggestion rather than a forced change in the paper.

                Another concept I believe is important is the Expert Feedback section. I agree with this section to an extent because as I said above sometimes people uncomfortable showing their work to other people. But I like the part about having your roommate look at it, and see what they say. Sometimes I believe it is hard to show your professor because of how they might react to the paper, as though will make you feel better about the paper they might turn down ideas, or let you know you did it wrong and some people can’t take that type of criticism. But I believe it is a great suggestion and can benefit many people in the end. Each type of person can offer something different to help enhance the paper, and I believe it could improve peoples writing.