Blog #7

Part 1: Revision

Before:

Media portrays Teen pregnancy daily on a show on MTV and it is starting to become a common thing around our culture today. I believe people should know more about this topic because the issue of teen pregnancy plays a huge role in teen’s lives today and is a life changing event in a teens life. There are many things teens don’t think about when becoming pregnant, and teens need to be aware, before getting pregnant, of what the consequences are of bringing a child into this world.

After:

Media portrays teen pregnancy daily on a show on MTV called "Teen Mom" and it is starting to become a common thing around our culture today. I believe people should know more about this topic because the issue of teen pregnancy plays a huge role in teen’s lives today and is a life changing event in a teens life. There are specific consequences teens don’t think about when becoming pregnant, and teens need to be aware, before getting pregnant, of what the consequences are of bringing a child into this world.

The changes I made were very small but I changed some words around to help my paragraph become more specific to my topic and straight to the point.

Part 2:

My group talked about PSAs for Georgia to consider. The questions we talked about asking her were:

• What points do you want to get across to your audience?
• Volunteering? Spending time with the animals?
• Main focus?
• Who do you want your audience to be?
• Maybe talk about:
• shelter benefits
• volunteering
• spay and neutured
• another event coming up?

Part 3: Revision of Previous Blog

Active: This chapter will help me in the future because it will help me keep writing straight forward again because sometimes you don’t need those extra word as seen in active writing therefore as in passive writing you don’t need the support it is straight to the point and you still understand.

Passive: This chapter helped me because it will help me realize extra words I don't need and it is straight to the point and not needing support.

I chose this because I am still dragging sentences on and mixing up active and passive.